The afternoon sun is pouring in through the window in Charlie’s nursery while I watch him twist, grab, and babble his little heart out on his play mat. It’s the eve of my return to work and a time to reflect on nearly four months of nurturing both my son and the new mother within me. I don’t yet have the words for the myriad of emotions that have been flooding my heart lately, but for now I’ll leave you with a few nuggets of hard-earned “wisdom” from a new mom. Here, in no particular order, are a few lessons from maternity leave.

Newborn sleep is a hundred times better than pregnancy sleep. I promise.

Do your hair. Or your makeup. Doesn’t have to be both, but you deserve at least one of those things.

Shower every day. You deserve that too; don’t be nasty.

Self care is truly not selfish. A happy and thriving baby starts with a happy and thriving mom.

Whoever coined the phrase “don’t cry over spilled milk” never breastfed a baby and/or was obviously a man.

Eight weeks is barely enough time to recover from major abdominal surgery while keeping a tiny human alive.

Eight weeks is barely enough time to put yourself back together and rediscover who you are.

Get outside every day. It’s good for both of you.

You actually can’t spoil a newborn. Hold, rock, and hug your baby as much as you can.Everything is just a phase—you WILL sleep again.

A supportive and loving partner makes a world of difference.

Single moms are actual superheroes. (Seriously, how do you do it?!)

Nothing compares to the serene warmth of your baby resting their head and falling asleep in your arms.

You won’t actually nap when the baby naps.

When you have a 20-min window and a choice between doing dishes, vacuuming or folding laundry, set a 10-minute timer. Accomplish one of those tasks and use the rest of the time for you. Read, take a cat nap, do a few sun salutations—whatever is going to fill your cup.

No one knows your baby better than you do, but you should still be open to good advice.

Get the $6 latte. You do deserve a little treat.

Once your baby starts smiling, be prepared to have your heart burst all day every day.

It’s okay to spend money on new clothes for your new body.

80 burpees is about 75 too many.

When someone offers you help, just say yes. 

You are not weak if bringing your baby to daycare feels like your heart is being ripped from your chest and being left there with them.

Motherhood is heartbreaking.

But how blessed are we to have hearts that are so full as to be easily broken.